Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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