didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
