sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
