So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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