y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
