I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
