Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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