Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This house was built for laser tag.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
