It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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