I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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