my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dick very happy bro
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
