1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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