her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sober January is a disaster.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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