Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
