Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
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So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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