I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm passing your future prison.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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