woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
