how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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