I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well I can't set my house on fire every night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
