Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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