This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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