I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its liver damage thursday
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize