I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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