I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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