I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize