im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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