You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
