Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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