But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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