it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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