She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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