I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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