hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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