Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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