at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
