Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is my gift to your gina
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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