No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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