Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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