Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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