Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
