last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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