It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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