You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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