Screwed.edu
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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