I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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