i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
