I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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