my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
