his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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