i permit you to call me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
