I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
