the day after is always just damage control
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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