Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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