"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
