some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
