fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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