I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
