I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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