I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
